Alice Beresford

Artist & Photographer


16th April 2010

Out Touting the Tout

“Buying and selling tickets” rang around the exit to Brixton tube as I approached with two tickets to flog.

Eye contact was made with one of the touts

“Tickets love”.

‘No’ I said.

“Selling are ya. What you want.” 

 “60” I said. 

 “Not a chance” came the firm reply 

 Ok maybe I had been a bit ambitious. 

 Undeterred and more importantly not intimidated I decided to bide my time. 

 I lurked in the shadows observing the little bloodsuckers extort money out of the hapless. All smiles when the deal was done furious glares when the bait was not taken. 

 After about 15 minutes I was spotted again. 

 “You still got those tickets” he said in this thick brummie accent, walking towards me. 

 I nodded 

“Here, I’ll give you 20,” which he duly tried to shove into my hand. 

 “I ‘ve got two” I protested. 

 “Not a chance,” came the familiar retort,” you’ll only get a tenner for each.” 

I nodded and went back to observing, they all seemed to have tickets but the cry was weighed more towards the buy now. 

‘You know this will end quite soon, so here’s 30’ I heard the brummie bully say behind me.

I ignored him and went for another vantage point.


My chance had arrived. A lonely couple who were being bombarded by the bullies. 

‘I got two tickets face value”, I informed them, when they had been left alone. 

They looked as they had missed the last bus. But slowly realised as I stood tickets in hand that they hadn’t given money to anyone and were free to do as they pleased.

Brummie bully appeared, furious.

‘What are you doing, these are my customers, you saw me talking to them. I have children to feed. You don’t do that. There is a circle of life, you know and well you’ll see.” 

‘Not a chance,’ I thought as I walked away with my satisfied customers.

24th March 2010

Oldies are goodies, or maybe not.

All I wanted to do was pay for the chicken

‘Are you free’, I inquired to the clerk

‘In a moment’ he hissed

It seemed all was not well.

After a lot of huffing and puffing he motioned he was ready. 

Great i thought and handed him the chicken, which he grabbed and it duly squeaked. Like a ultra sensitive trip pad it talked on every touch.

However this was not enough to swing his frame of mind In fact it seem to infuriate him more. And when he realised it had no price the steam was almost visible. 

I on the other hand reacted as the toy wanted me too, giggles, hidden though, as I did not want to disrespect the mood but is there really was no room for this fury in a novelty shop. 

And as he spited through gritted teeth, as his profession required. 

‘Have a nice day. Ok.’ 

I thought, life is never ever that bad, surely.

14th March 2010


The wind and the rain has come, pushing me eastward towards reality

Manhattan has become a battleground

Man vs Umbrella (and ain’t looking good for the homosapiens)

Heres to reality.

8th March 2010

Arts and Crafts

The Gamble House in Pasadena. Finest example of the American Arts and Craft movement in America.

Movement originated in UK in the 1880s as a reaction to the industrial revolution and mass production.

Everything in the house was designed for that particular building. Furniture and carpets etc.

In the Gamble house, heavily influenced by Japanese architecture, (as the architects had visit World’s Columbian Exhibition in Chicago on their way to Californa from Ohio and saw examples of it there), it is an all wood structure with inner detail. And well worth a goo and as is everything Arts and Crafts.

5th March 2010

Waiting for the Bus

‘Hey, Hey’ he bellowed to no one in particular.

‘I’m not talkin’ to you, I’m just practising my lines’ (quite possible as we were in Hollywood after all)

However this character had a fish kite on his head, numerous plastic bags and a bicycle with a mallet as a handle bar.

One well dressed character took exception to these harmless heckles 

‘Asshole’ he snarled, 

‘Asshole’ said Fish head 

‘Double asshole’ came the retort 

‘Triple asshole’ giggled Fishhead 

This was an asshole too far for uptight. ‘Right i’m calling the cops’, and with a smug gesture, phone to his ear, he crossed the road. 

Fishy, unfazed took the hat off and hid it in his bag.’ They’ll be looking for someone dressed as a fish. I’ll just say he left already’ 

I nodded in agreement and pondered who was the loser in that exchange and as Fishy happily packed his belongings onto the bus, felt that phone man had many more problems.

1st March 2010


Well was woken up yesterday morning to this on the radio

Click to play

**Sound-clip-13.wav to be uploaded**

And and empty Wakiki. Luckly being on the 15th Floor meant we did not have to evacuate to higher ground. So pretty much had ringside seats. Went to the shop to get supplies. Got beer just incase it was a long one and Dadda got the DTs. Need not of worried as went to his room as supposed time of impact approach and there he was with a bottle of Moet. Of course. Anyways nothing happen. Which is good for all who lived near the beach but had a great view.

26th February 2010

Bob the Barman

Here’s Bob the Barman in Chucks Steakhouse, who serves my father mai tais every evening, with his fullly working vintage till. A little anecdote from Bob.

Click to play.

**Need to upload Sound clip 12 **

25th February 2010

Wacky Wakikian

Relax, all is good in the world. The CIA are recruiting top operatives.

This character told me he came from Connecticut originally. And that Hawaii had little people like Ireland but they were not so mischievous. He said when he first came out here he found a stolen wallet with $6000 in it. He handed it in and the owner gave him the money as he was so grateful to get his ID back.

‘What ya do with it’ I asked. 

‘Took a little trip’ he bream. 

‘Where’ I inquired. 


23rd February 2010

Live Life

A very sad thing happened today. My Father went to see Marie Casciato his good friends Richard Kellys’ secretary. A women who he had known for several years. She was helping him with his his airline ticket. They finished there business after having a very nice chat and she said she would walk out with him.As he walked out the door he heard a crash and turned to see Marie and the ground. He called for help. There was a Doctor on site but sadly there was nothing they could do. Marie had died. One minute talking fine the next minute dead. Very sad for all concerned. Condolences go out.x

22nd February 2010

Local Culture

Found this on the beach. Its a lauhala pod from the lauhala tree or the walking stick tree(below). Its get eroded by the sea and bristles are formed. The native hawaiians used it as a paint brush.

22nd February 2010


Just click to play

20th February 2010

True Love

Found myself at Mr and Mrs Herman Lams 50th wedding anniversary. A tale of true love and the american dream.

Mr Lam escaped communist China aged 14 years old driven out of his village for being a christen, 62 years ago. He got to Shanghai where his aunt gave him a gold pen to help him on his way. After swimming to Hong Kong and managing to secure work. He still had the gold pen which he did not want to sell till he felt he really needed too. That day came when he meet Sadie, Mrs Lam. He sold the pen to take her out on their first date. Unfortunately for him it also involved taking most of her family as well.

The photo on the invite is their wedding photo. They then immigrated to Hawaii where they worked their way to financial stability. Raising 5 children who they put through college and have become successful in their own right.

Mrs Lam read a self penned poem which ended with the words 

‘there are marriages, there are unions and then there are soul mates’.

16th February 2010


Broke the lei cherry. One of those lil’ babies was popped over my head by my generous hostess Linda. Beautiful purple orchids. There are different Leis for different occasions. I suppose every Lei tells a story, like all mine will I hope.

15th February 2010

Waiting for the Lei

Everyone gets lei’d in Hawaii. Thats what i I been told and what I also thought to be true. Another sweeping statement, similier to “Even the elephant man can score in Nimbin”. (Well that took, my cousin Fats and I 10hrs in the local boozer, nearly gettin’ eatin by some Aussie crushtys snake to accomplish that. But that really in another story). Back to the present. My two places that i thought would get me lei’d, the airport and the hotel reception have proven flowerless. Lets hope tomorrow will be better. I suppose anything can happen in paradise.